Dear diary, I think I'm in love. I think this is the real thing, the one I've been waiting for all those lonely nights. I feel as if this is my reward for being patient! And believe me, I might be the most impatient person you've ever met. I remember when I was 7 and was here in Serbia, and I saw this amazingly beautiful digital wrist watch with the image of Beauty from Beauty and the Beast, and I decided that I had to have it. I don't think I've ever tortured my parents that much to get something, but I was so obsessed with the watch because I was sure it was the prettiest thing on the planet - nevermind that I hadn't yet learned the clock. Anyway.. I can see a pattern here. Really, it's such a shame that I can't introduce a pair of shoes to my parents. Yes, my one and only love is a pair of black, sparkly high heels equipped with a 10 cm tall heel! When I got home with them and really tried them on, pranced in front of the mirror in my new black skinny jeans and the shoes (you know what you usually do when you come home from shopping and check if the things still look as good as they did in the shop), the first words that came out of my mouth were "sweet mother of Jesus!" because that's how I felt - amazed, as if I had just witnessed a miracle. It was like the girl in the mirror wasn't me but someone else from a completely different life, someone much more confident and prettier. It felt so weird.. but so good at the same time. So good.

I'm not this happy just because of the shoes, though the shoes alone are enough to make me feel like I could fly to the moon and back. The other reason for me feeling like this is that today we got the results of the second dendrology mid-term exam, the written part. Full points baby, full points! And I wasn't even sure if I had passed! It made me feel so.. I dunno, smart maybe. Like I'm not a total idiot who's only able to spend money very efficiently. I mean, I know things! Sometimes I feel like I make myself seem like a stupid person on purpose and I'm not really sure why I do it. But I can't really stop it. All this nonsense that I write about clothes and material stuff, they're not really helping me build an image of a smart girl, are they? Maybe if I tell more about mid-term exams that went this well, maybe I'll start being that smart girl again, the girl that I think I used to be. But.. I like shopping. I love buying new clothes. I love knowing what to wear and how to wear it. I love my new-found confidence. What I don't love is how hard it is to combine these two worlds, the one where I'm hard-working and smart and the one where I take care of my "looks" (hair, make-up, nails, clothes). Sigh.

ANYWAY. The look on my brother's face when I told dad, oh that look! He looked so shocked and incredulous that I couldn't stop myself from laughing and saying "take that". So he knows it now, I'm not as stupid as he thinks I am. I'd love to bash him a bit here but I'm above that - and I don't have any reason to do it, especially after he sort of grinned sheepisly and congratulated me on my success. I have to say that even that guy has his moments.