GREAT. My period started today, one week ahead of schedual. Bloody fantastic. The only good thing I can come up with is that at least I'm not pregnant! I was a bit worried, you see, just a tiny tiny bit. Well, that's sorted out now. I just wish I'd had my painkillers with me at uni yesterday because I was in so much pain that I was literally cramping. Good thing that it stopped while I was doing the presentation about willows that I had prepared for yesterday. AND I got full points, though other students evaluated me.. and they all gave me full points just because they know that I gave them full points too. Solidarity, that's what I'm talking about! Doesn't matter though, getting full points is always something to be proud of. Now I don't have to do one of the mid-term exams, which saves me a lot of time.

I'm supposed to be handing in some of the LAP assignments tomorrow, but I'm not going to. I didn't call the girl who could've drawn them for me because...
a) I don't want to pay 120 euros for something like this. I'm a student, not a millionaire.
b) The assistant bitch from hell would've understood that with my talents you don't draw amazingly skilled plans (5 of them) in just under a week, so she would've guessed that I paid someone to do them. (everybody does that, it's no secret)
c) I maybe sorta unconsciously wan't to fail LAP so that I surely won't enrol 3rd year on time and it'll be easier to make the decision to move back to Finland.

It's just that every time I think about Finland and how I'm moving back, I feel so.. happy. It's like this pure joy that makes me smile and feel like I'm in love. Being in love is the most wonderful thing in the world, everything seems to be ok then, it's like I'm invincible and nothing can ever again make me feel sad. Of course it's not true but the feeling is just woah. And I love it. I love thinking how I'm soon going to be back in Finland, with my friends (and family). Getting that message from Oona via Facebook yesterday made me feel even more determined about this. Not determined enough to pack my belongings (which is impossible, because if I indeed packed all my earthly belongings that I've got here in Belgrade, there'd be about 10 suitcases for me to carry home), I still need time to let the idea grow on me. You know, so that I'm entirely sure. And it's handy to wait 'til summer because that's when Marina and Tinkku are coming (mum isn't sure if she's coming) and they can take part of my luggage as their luggage.

I'm just worried that IF I do return to Finland, will people look at me and think "she couldn't take it", or "she cracked under the pressure" or will they think I'm a failure? I suppose I shouldn't care, even if they did think so. It's my life after all and nobody else can make me happy. And we're allowed to make wrong decisions, be they big or small. I know what I'm talking about, I already made one big one by coming here in the first place!

THOUGH, if I returned to Finland, I'd have to move from Helsinki to Häme. It sounds better than Serbia though. There I'd be studying something like this. Sounds ok, doesn't it? Then I wouldn't be a Bachelor of Science but a Bachelor of Natural Resources. And I could always try enrolling some different place next year's spring, couldn't I? It's not like my life is over at 21, nowadays people start studying new things at 30. So I guess I'm not such a "lost case", at least not yet.

Ooh, I just noticed that it takes just an hour from Helsinki to Hämeenlinna by train! How convenient. I'm already planning how to do that trip every morning, haha.

Oww, crap. The trip costs 17,90 euros. Bummer.