Uhh.. I'm sick. Which isn't nice. As if I wasn't feeling crappy enough without a runny nose and a headache from hell. And I'm so nervous all the time because I've royally fucked up my exams, almost all of them, and if dad finds out.. well, he'll make minced meat of me. Metaphorically. I'm just so tired of all of this that I don't have the will to try. It's not that I'd be depressed or anything because I'm not, I'm just feeling that this is somewhat pointless. I don't understand why am I exactly doing this, other than to please my dad.

I went downtown today and was determined to buy a book or two. You know, something smart and.. well, something that isn't chick lit. Not that all chick lit isn't smart! Some chick lit books are actually pretty educating, but most of them are just meaningless crap about shopping, guys and being so damn successive. Though usually at first the heroine faces amazing difficulties, like finding a job or getting a Birkin bag (you know how long the waiting lists are?), but then overcomes them and everything ends happily. Anyway, I have enough chick lit books for the moment, so I went for something slightly different and bought Umberto Eco's 'The Name of the Rose' and 'Baudolino'. I like historical novels so I suppose these books will be just as good for procrastinating as Wendy Holden's books are.

Btw, I don't think I should make such decisions as to decide to stop shopping, because it clearly isn't working. The more determined I am about not spending money on things that some people might think I don't need, the more I end up buying and then I feel bad (just a bit) for spending all that money. Though I can afford it at the moment, it's just that I'd rather save money for next summer and autumn because I'm really going to need it then. And even if I studied in Finland and got the same amount of money as I get now.. well, there this kind of money is nothing. I'd be spending all of it on rent and school books and Lidl food.

Something to listen to:
Air - New star in the sky