Don't remember if I mentioned but I got my study grants from Finland - FINALLY. So what's a girl to do when she has money? Off she goes to solarium! I had to keep a two week pause because I wanted to save money, so I didn't allow myself to go to the bank to withdraw any, unless I had to buy something really really.. necessary. Like healthy food.

I think I also mentioned that I bought the plane ticket for July? Well, I thought I did. Finnair texted me about 2 hours after I had paid for the ticket with my brother's Visa just to announce that the card was rejected and my reservation is valid for the next 24 hours. Then my mum had to call the number I had been given in case I had something to ask, and they told mum that Finnair doesn't accept Visas that are meant just for internet use anymore. I tell you, it was so my luck. I had to send the money to mum via bank and we all know how long that can take - up to a week - PLUS I had to pay extra, you know, the sending costs or whatever they're called, so in total I sacrificed the nice round sum of 300 euros just to get back to Finland. But I guess it's worth it. So... Now I'm hoping that when mum gets the money, there'll be tickets left because I really really want to get on that 19:25 flight. Like, I have to. I don't want to wait another day here alone when my mum and sisters have already gone back to Helsinki.

The weather's been really nice, 20-25 degrees Celsius and quite a lot of sunshine. I think the one thing (one of the rare things unfortunately) I'm going to miss about Serbia is the weather and the delightfully short almost snow-free winters. Sometimes I think that it was so good that I decided to come here now, because if I hadn't, I would've never understood how much I love Helsinki and how I just wouldn't belong here. But.. I dunno. I still feel as if I've wasted the past 2 years. If I had stayed in Finland, I'd have 2 more years at Laurea and after that I'd graduate and start working. I actually emailed Laurea 5 minutes ago to make sure my name is still on the list. There's no reason for my name NOT to be on that list but you can never be too sure. And I really don't want anything to go wrong. If I hadn't enrolled Laurea in 2006, I don't what I'd do right now. I'd be probably stuck here because I wouldn't have the balls to leave everything here by quitting my studies and return to Finland with nothing. Now I have Laurea, so whatever happens, I will graduate one day and become something. Whether I graduate from Laurea or from HUT (after working my ass off studying maths and passing the entrance exams next spring - Heidi's boyfriend Heikki already promised to help me with maths and I'm so grateful), goddammit I will graduate!

I've been seeing a lot of dreams about Helsinki, my friends there and my sisters lately. A few weeks ago I even woke up in the middle of the night and thought I was in my bed in Paloheinä. I'm not the most patient person on Earth but knowing that I got only 78 days left here helps a bit. If you look at the time I've already been here, 78 days is like a blink of an eye really.