I almost got assaulted by a hobo last night at work while I was on a break, having a cig outside. I heard the man saying to his hobo friends how he was going to the supermarket to buy some more beer (he was clearly drunk already) and he started walking towards me. I was hoping he wouldn't start talking to me because I hate having to chat with them about how "beautiful" I am. I bet everyone's beautiful when you're wearing beer goggles. Anyway... He DID start talking to me, stuff like "I'll approach you slowly so you won't be afraid" and other random shit. Then he got closer and closer, and kept asking me the same stupid question that every fucking hobo asks me - "how can you be so beeeeeautiful????", and I was getting a bit annoyed so I was like, how the fuck I know? Then all of a sudden he said that he really really wants to feel my boobs and he came even closer with his outstretched hands, breathing heavily and all in all sounding like he was about to come in his pants. I jumped up (I was sitting on this crate) and told him to fuck off and that if he touched me, I'd call the guard. He tried to do it like 3 times until I got really mad and started walking towards the door, but the sick bastard followed me, muttering to himself things like "I'm so gonna grab her ass...". I mean, what the fuck? I didn't sell him the beer he tried to buy, and I also told Joonas not to sell alcohol to him. I wouldn't have sold it to him even if he had been sober. Sick bastard. It felt the same as the thing that happened in Serbia when I was on my way to Ana's place and the bus was crammed and some old fart started rubbing his dick against my back. And this happened three times. On different days. Ughhh. I was so upset after the hobo incident that I almost started crying, which was a bit... weird? I don't know. Anyway, if you didn't know before, NOW you know why I hate my job sometimes.

Other things to have happened during the past 24 hours are a) meeting with the guy from Kosovo, the one I met at The Circus, b) feeling really bad and crying because of meeting with him and being such a skank towards V and c) applying to open university's English courses. I still feel so bad. I'm a two-timing bastard even if I only kissed the guy, but STILL! I feel absolutely horrible. Is this how much I care about V? Ok, I know I've been getting more and more frustrated with V not being able to find time to drag his fine ass to Helsinki, but that's no excuse. There's no excuse for meeting with someone else and then not slapping him when he kisses you. Oh God, the last time I felt this horrible was almost two years ago when J and his friend got me drunk and then tried to have a threesome with me. I feel somehow dirty, like I'm not worth a thing. I feel super shitty and physically sick. Like for real. A couple of hours ago I couldn't do anything else but lie on mum's bed and try not to throw up. God I wish I could turn back time... If the story of me meeting up with him ever gets out, EVERYBODY is going to know. And if the guy's a bastard he'll probably lie to everyone that he fucked me hard, that I BEGGED him to do it and he just had to because aren't all those Serbian girls whores or what? Oh God oh God oh God. I know and you know that nothing of the sort happened but nobody else knows! Oh God. I think I'm going to go shopping, it's the best kind of therapy I can get right now since Marina's at work and I have no ice-cream to eat or soppy romantic movies to watch. Why do I never learn?